Jose Mourinho’s brain must be a wondrous place, the scenes directed by Tim Burton, Christopher Nolan, and possibly Martin Scorsese, too.
The Tottenham Hotspur boss comes up with amusing tales on an almost weekly basis; How he detailed the club’s striker crisis since he took over is a heaping helping of the good stuff.
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Mourinho, of course, lost Harry Kane to a long-term injury on New Year’s Day. The club was unable to snare a center forward in the January transfer market despite being linked with Krzyzstof Piatek, Willian Jose, and others.
Now Heung-min Son could miss the rest of the season after suffering a broken arm versus Aston Villa.
The manager was previewing Wednesday’s UCL first leg with RB Leipzig when he realized he needed to give the media something to write outside of the standard “I don’t have a striker” fare. From Football.London:
“You know that I like analogies. Sometimes I do good ones, sometimes I do silly ones. But in this case I’ll try to do one for you. When we arrived we were on the minus 12 floor. We got the stairs and we started climbing. But immediately at the beginning the stairs, they broke. So we were in trouble and we were finding a way to try to get (up). We found a way, we started climbing – lots of work, lots of effort – and we started going and going and going.
And when 11 steps, 11 floors, we go, we go, we go, and when we are arriving on the fourth floor, which is where we wanted to arrive, somebody came and took the stairs away. So now we are in trouble. Now we are with our arms on the balcony on the fourth floor and now we have two options: one is to give up and fall and normally die because it’s the fourth floor. Another way is to fight with what we have – no stairs, but arms. so we are going to be on that balcony fighting with everything that we have and there is only one possibility of help in this incredible fight we have ahead of us. Our public.
No strikers, no market, no players, nothing. The only help we can have now, especially playing at home, is our crowd.”
I am so, so, so glad this cat is back amongst the Premier League managers. The pundit stuff was cool, but the league should sign him to a deal so that he’s contractually obligated to be a manager of one of its 20 clubs at all times.