Ranking the Festive Fixtures difficulties for all 20 Premier League clubs

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We’re in the thick of the Festive Fixtures now, with Premier League clubs staring down three more matches in a nine-day span.

The run begins Saturday with Matchday 15’s opening tilt — a big one between second-place Leicester City hosting third-place Manchester United at the King Power Stadium — and goes through January 4th’s only match, a scrap between Southampton and Liverpool at St. Mary’s.T

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Who’s got it worst? Who’s got it best?

Here are the opponents for all 20 teams, coupled with some matching comments from a certain holiday film starring Cornelius Crane Chase.


“You serious, Clark?”

These clubs won’t be as worried as the rest if someone takes a red card to get New Years’ off.

Burnley begins us with the most straightforward run of fixtures, with two definite six-pointers at home and a Leeds side without defensive acumen.

Blades, Liverpool, and Spurs all have one tricky fixture but won’t be thinking about anything other than nne points.

20. Burnley: Leeds (A), Sheffield United (H), Fulham (H)

19. Sheffield United: Everton (H), Burnley (A), Palace (A)

18. Liverpool: West Brom (H), Newcastle (A), Southampton (A)

17. Tottenham: Wolves (A), Fulham (H), Leeds (H)

Tottenham Wolves Europe
No Raul Jimenez makes Wolves away a less-daunting proposition. (Photo by Tess Derry/EMPICS/PA Images via Getty Images)

“‘Tis the season to be merry”

There isn’t much reason for these guys to say out loud they’re planning on going nine-for-nine with points, but at least six points can be found in the space between hoping and expectation.

16. Crystal Palace: Aston Villa (A), Leicester (H), Sheffield United (H)

15. Leicester City: Man United (H), Palace (A), Newcastle (A)

14. West Ham: Brighton (H), Southampton (A), Everton (A)

13. Arsenal: Chelsea (H), Brighton (A), West Brom (A)


“Little full, lotta sap”

Some tricky, tricky fixtures where at least one of the matches signifies a win that would be considered a big upset.

12. Brighton and Hove Albion: West Ham (A), Arsenal (H), Wolves (H)

11. Leeds United: Burnley (H), West Brom (A), Tottenham (A)

10. Fulham: Southampton (H), Tottenham (A), Burnley (A)

9. Southampton: Fulham (A), West Ham (H), Liverpool (H)

Southampton - Sheffield United
SOUTHAMPTON, ENGLAND – DECEMBER 13 (Photo by Matt Watson/Southampton FC via Getty Images)

“We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas”

This trio isn’t counting on dropping points but they are all driving their hopeful comments regarding the tone and tenor of this upcoming holiday season out of a place of anger and some level of doubt.

8. Everton: Sheffield United (A), Man City (H), West Ham (H)

7. Manchester United: Leicester (A), Wolves (H), Aston Villa (H)

6. Man City: Newcastle (H), Everton (A), Chelsea (A)

5. Chelsea: Arsenal (A), Aston Villa (H), Man City (H)


“Take a look around you, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell”

Self-explanatory.

4. West Bromwich Albion: Liverpool (A), Leeds (H), Arsenal (H)

3. Aston Villa: Palace (H), Chelsea (A), Man United (A)

2. Wolves: Tottenham (H), Man United (A), Brighton (A)

1. Newcastle United: Man City (A), Liverpool (H), Leicester City (H)