Siu x2: Cristiano Ronaldo scores brace in Manchester United return (video)

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If there was only to be one goal across 450 minutes of Premier League 10am ET kickoffs, it was only going to come from one man: Cristiano Ronaldo.

Even if it was a terrible one, it still gets a “Siu!”

Fortunately, Newcastle keeper Freddie Woodman’s second headscratcher of the game gave Manchester United’s returning star forward a more highlight-reel worthy goal to complete a brace moments after Newcastle leveled the game after halftime.

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On the first goal, Woodman made a meal of a slight deflection. The third-string keeper spilled a near-post shot he should’ve caught to the man of the hour for one of the easiest goals he’ll ever score (and he’s scored a lot).

Ronaldo tapped home alone in the six, following the shot like a hopeful rookie, and Manchester United took a deserved 1-0 lead to the locker room at Old Trafford on Saturday.

And, of course, Ronaldo delivered his now-iconic celebratory leap and scream. It’s fitting for the occasion, even if it didn’t match the goal.

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As stated, the second goal was better. Luke Shaw cut a long pass to an exploding Ronaldo, whose shot from inside the box spun through the legs of Woodman for 2-1.

Looks much better, even if both should’ve been stopped by the keeper. Old Trafford don’t care, and would hope for a hat trick.