Commercials sure have come a long way.
Cristiano Ronaldo’s new ad for Poker Stars is certainly unusual, except for the part where he’s nude save his underpants.
In his drawers, the Real Madrid star pops out of bed to juggle a ball from an air-powered midfielder (dude lives in a science museum, apparently).
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He then hits a shot outside the sliding door in his bedroom, off a wall, and into a mini goal positioned outside.
If there was a scantily clad woman outside, this would be peak Ronaldo. Instead, it’s just outside that status.
Adidas has gone next level with its latest Paul Pogba advertisement.
Next level, or Talking Heads’ “Once In a Lifetime” video meets Kanye West’s “Power” (meets Tim and Eric).
The ad is extra pertinent as we wait to hear whether Pogba’s seemingly inevitable move away from Juventus for a record fee.
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Entitled “BLAH BLAH BLAH”, the advertisement features Diego Costa, Manuel Neuer, Thomas Muller, Jose Mourinho, Marcelo and others.
For me, the video is as instantly memorable as the “Take It To The Next Level” ad that shows a player going from Sunday league to superstar while Eagles of Death Metal’s “Don’t Speak” plays.
On another day, we can have a discussion on whether the Heidecker/Wareheim collective that brought us “Awesome Show” on Adult Swim is the most influential advertising inspiration in years.
Now here’s what we love about Abby Wambach (and marketing wizardry).
Gatorade has unveiled a new commercial starring Wambach where she discusses her final game, even tearing up at times.
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And if you have an affinity for great athletes, the USWNT, or just solid speeches, there’s a good chance you’ll be on Tear Train into Chillsville.
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Entitled “Forget Me”, it ticks a lot of boxes, but no one’s going to forget No. 20 anytime soon; Nor does she really want to disappear from memory.
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Legends live on. That said, we get the general idea.
As part of the campaign, Wambach disabled her Twitter, Facebook and Instagram accounts hours before Wednesday’s match, sending out her last message as “Make them forget me.”
Foot Locker, Landon Donovan and James Harden teamed up for a goofy ad that runs with the theme that great athletes have short memories.
The L.A. Galaxy infamously-snubbed World Cup midfielder is seen saluting Houston Rockets guard James Harden before the NBA player shifts the conversation to him.
“Let’s talk about what happened this summer,” Harden says.
What follows is a pretty great — and game — Donovan performance in what’s been titled ‘Short Memory, Pt. 2’. It has that Ron Donald feel from “Party Down”, that everything’s going according to plan.
It’s the sequel to a relatively-epic Harden/Charles Barkley vehicle featuring a certain Chicago Bulls legend:
How many times have you looked in the mirror and thought: man, I wish there was a slick device designed to give my facial muscles a work out?
And how many more times have you thought: man, I wish that facial fitness device would be endorsed by Real Madrid and Portuguese sensation Cristiano Ronaldo?
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And how many more times have you thought: MAN, I WISH I COULD DO ALL THAT BUT I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!
Good news, friend. Facial Fitness PAO is here, brought to you by CR7 (patent pending) and the good people at MTG. And while he won’t actually put the item in his mouth, he’ll kinda show you how it works in this here commercial:
How does it ‘work’, you ask?
All you have to do is hold the facial exerciser in your mouth and swing the ends of the bar up and down to tone up your facial muscles.
Exercise your facial muscles
30 seconds, twice a day
Looks like we’re all sixty seconds away from having ripped faces. Sweet.