WATCH: Dante giveaway leads to Porto’s second goal in 10 minutes; Bayern trails 2-1 at half

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We’ve already seen three goals in the first 28 minutes of the UEFA Champions League quarterfinal tie between Porto and Bayern Munich at the Estadio do Dragao on Wednesday.

Last week, Pep Guardiola said he’d like a whole team of Dantes. Given the defender’s error today, he’s likely feeling quite the opposite.

A Manuel Neuer foul on Jackson Martinez allowed former Chelsea loan castoff Ricardo Quaresma to convert a third minute penalty, and then the Portuguese winger stripped an oblivious Dante and walked in on Neuer to make it 2-0 in the 10th minute.

[MORE: Int’l Champions Cup teams announced]

Fortunately for Bayern, Thiago Alcantata picked up a road goal to make it 2-1 in the 28th minute, but the match is living up to its promise of goals.

The second leg is Tuesday at Allianz Arena. Check out Dante’s mistake and Quaresma’s brace completion via this Vine:

Dante is still sad about Brazil’s 7-1 defeat to Germany as Thomas Muller continues the taunting


Man, poor Dante.

Not only did the big Brazilian defender play a huge part in his country’s infamous 7-1 defeat to Germany at last summer’s World Cup, but shortly after being embarrassed and knocked out of the tournament in his home country, Dante had to return to — of all the places in this gigantic world — Germany, for preseason with Bayern Munich.

Surely the sympathetic, merciful Germans would take pity on his broken soul and either console him through this tragic heartbreak, or at the very least, have the sympathy to not rub salt in the still-gaping wound and remind Dante of the worst day of his professional life.

Yeah, about those “sympathetic, merciful Germans” — they’re actually known to be anything but.

[ RELATED: Thiago Silva still disturbed by World Cup humiliation ]

So surely his club teammates, many of which were members of that World Cup-winning Germany team and the ones closest to Dante for 10 months out of every year, would understand his pain and shift their focus to the road ahead of them this season, rather than constantly gloating about their past endeavors. They’re professionals, after all, and they’ve got a job to do, together.

Thankfully for Dante, every Bayern Munich player seems to have taken this gracious viewpoint. Everyone but Thomas Muller, that is. Apparently Muller is known as a bit of a jokester amongst his teammates, so the following isn’t exactly surprising, but it’s still really sad.

According to Dante, who spoke this week to Globoesporte, Muller’s jokes — Dante calls them taunts — were quite harsh and apparently never ending, despite his repeated pleas.

“The Germans joked about it, especially just after the game, up to the moment when I said it was time to stop. The 7-1 was something more serious than people realized.

“We can joke about anything, but not about this. Not all the Germans were like this but Thomas is the big joker. I said to him: ‘If you don’t stop, I’m going to hit you in every training session.’

“This doesn’t make me laugh and when someone doesn’t laugh, it means they are annoyed.”

This is truly saddening. Dante went on to say that he also feels shame from regular German citizens in public, that they now look down upon him.

“I felt that people have sort of pushed me to one side since then, in restaurants, in the street. I only think when you are sad and have endured this sort of upset, you need some affection from people who are close to you, to help recover your self-esteem.”

1) Thomas Muller, despite the fact he scored 10 World Cup goals by the age of 24, is a big, fat jerk.
2) Pep Guardiola should have shoved Muller harder.
3) I’ll be your friend, Dante.

h/t The Soccer Gods for Portuguese-to-English translation of quotes

Willian to replace Neymar against Germany? Scolari has options

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After watching Brazil’s training, it appears Chelsea midfielder Willian is the likely candidate to replace the injured Neymar when Brazil take on Germany in the World Cup semifinals.

Let me rephrase this: Willian is likely to take Neymar’s place against Germany.

Nobody can replace Neymar.

The Chelsea attacker played in Neymar’s number-10 slot during a training match against a local Brazilian U-20 side outside Rio de Janeiro, according to Associated Press writer Tales Azzoni.

Brazil won the match 3-0 on goals from Dante as well as Bernard and Ramires.  The latter two are other candidates to start against Germany.

Willian would be a likely frontrunner for the position, although he admitted there would be some differences with himself in the lineup.

[ MORE: Willian, Hulk, and Fred: what Neymar’s absence means for Brazil ]

“You can’t compare Neymar to any other player, he has a lot of quality,” Willian said during a media opportunity. “I have a different style. He is more of a striker, scores more goals, while my strong suit is to set up my teammates.”

The 25-year-old knows himself well, having created a trio of chances in just three substitute appearances so far this World Cup. He scored four goals and grabbed three assists in the Premier League last season, and has nearly twice as many assists as goals over his professional career (44 goals and 78 assists).

According to Squawka statistics, Willian created a chance every 26 minutes this past Premier League season.

In addition, with captain Thiago Silva suspended due to yellow card accumulation – a decision which Brazil is appealing but unlikely to succeed – Willian’s Chelsea teammate David Luiz is the frontrunner to captain the side.

The Blues will have a heavy presence in the match, with Germany’s Andre Schurrle making a heavy impact off the bench in this World Cup and could earn himself a start.

Bundesliga Wrap: Goals galore!

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No game in the Bundesliga featured less than two goals so far this weekend, and an astonishing four matches saw the winners scoring four goals. That’s the sort of fun you get when you tune into German football – the title may be all but decided, but there’s still going to be plenty of excitement elsewhere. The sort of excitement you get when the last-placed side sinks four.

Friday Results

Mainz 2-0 Hannover
A very happy Valentine’s Day result for Mainz, who move one step closer to the European positions with their fourth win in five games. Yunus Malli scored their first off a counter-attack in the 51st minute, while substitute Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting grabbed the second deep into extra time.

Saturday Results

Bayern Munich 4-0 Freiburg
A routine win over one of the Bundesliga’s struggling sides ensures that Bayern Munich keep their hold on the top of the table, sitting an astonishing 16 points above Bayer Leverkusen. Dante scored the first, with Xherdan Shaqiri bagging a brace before the interval. Claudio Pizarro scored right at the end, completing Bayern’s rout over Freiburg.

Borussia Dortmund 4-0 Eintracht Frankfurt
They might be 17 points behind Bayern, but Dortmund weren’t about to be undone by the league’s top side. No, they had to go and score four as well, just to make a point against a poor Frankfurt side, who they’d already beaten earlier in the week in the domestic cup. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored a brace inside 20 minutes, and Robert Lewandowski added a third with a penalty conversion to start the second half. The real talking point, though, was Miloš Jojić, who scored with his first touch for Dortmund, a mere 12 seconds into his debut with the club.

Braunschweig 4-2 Hamburg
So Bayern got four, and Dortmund got four. No big deal, right? But bottom side Braunschweig, who’d had just 11 goals prior to this weekend, scoring four – that’s a big deal. And that’s just a sign of how poor Hamburg, who are now just a point off the bottom, are. It was the visitors that opened the scoring, and Pierre-Michel Lasogga’s goal was enough to take them into the half with a 1-0 lead. Domi Kumbela equalized for Braunschweig in the 51st minute, and added another ten minutes later. Ivo Iličević pulled one back for Hamburg, but Braunschweig picked up the pace in the final five minutes. Kumbela completed his hattrick and Jan Hochscheidt added a fourth with the final play of the game.

Hoffenheim 4-1 Stuttgart
What? Another side got four goals? Yes, this time it was mid-table Hoffenheim pushing Stuttgart, who started off the season in Europa League and have now lost six in a row, even closer to the danger zone. You’d think Stuttgart did it to themselves, going down to ten men when Moritz Leitner received a second yellow, but Hoffenheim were already up 3-1 by the sending off in the 80th minute. Sven Schipplock scored on either side of the half, Kevin Volland put one in in between. Antonio Rüdiger finally found the net for Stuttgart in the 78th, but it was Hoffeinheim with the final say, a penalty converted by Roberto Firmino.

Werder Bremen 1-1 Borussia Mönchengladbach
Just two goals? Yawn. Gladbach must’ve thought they’d had this one all sewn up, cruising after Raffael’s sixth minute goal. But Ludovic Obraniak scored from a direct free kick in the 88th minute, grabbing a share of the points for Werder Bremen. If Gladbach, now in fifth, don’t start winning soon, their Champion League dreams will be completely out of reach.

Bayer Leverkusen 1-2 Schalke
It’s obvious that Leverkusen aren’t going to catch Bayern, and it’s fairly clear they’re not going to lose out on a Champions League place. Still, you’d think they’d at least be able to secure a point at home, even against Schalke. Especially after getting kicked out of the Cup to Bundesliga 2 side Kaiserslautern. But maybe Leverkusen are just saving it up to meet PSG midweek, because they could do little to stop Schalke. In fact, their goal came courtesy of the visitors, an own goal from Felipe Santana. It was Leon Goretzka and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar that put the ball in the back of the Leverkusen net, giving Schalke the win.

Sunday Fixtures

Augsburg vs. Nurnberg
Nurnberg, with just two wins all season, don’t look a likely contender to throw a spanner in Augsburg’s plan to slip into the European positions. Then again, Nurberg do have six draws on the road and managed two wins in a row before facing Bayern, so the visitors grabbing a share of the points wouldn’t be completely out of left field.

Hertha Berlin vs. Wolfsburg
It’s rare that the Bundesliga weekend ends with an intriguing matchup with any relevance whatsoever, but the outcome of this game could have huge implications on which Bundesliga side takes the final Europa League spot. Wolfsburg has sixth right now, but Hertha are just two points back – and holding on to a European position would be quite a way to mark their return to Germany’s top division.

Bayern Munich makes it official at FIFA Club World Cup (video)

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Bayern Munich made it official on Saturday, establishing itself as the world’ best club, making fairly fast work of Raja Casablanca to claim the FIFA Club World Cup crown.

Saturday’s 2-0 win at the Marrakech Stadium (home of Raja Casablanca) established Bayern as the first German club to win FIFA’s global trophy for a club side. Bayern can place the trophy alongside all its other hardware in this memorable year; the famous German club already has trophies in this calendar year from the Champions League, Bundesliga, German Cup and European Super Cup.

Goals by Brazilian defender Dante and Spanish international Thiago had the German’s comfortably in charge all the way. Franck Ribery was named Player of the Tournament.

Highlights from Saturday’s final in Morocco: